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2005/08/01Go Hereposted by Danielle on Monday, August 01, 2005
2004/08/28I love the smell of OFF! I am almost obsessed with it, I wear it as perfume often. I also will never respect an insects opinion on anything based only on the knowledge that they dont like the way OFF! smells.Also, Tripod is sooo dumb. They think that they have some awesome marketing scheme by putting ads relating to keywords in my posts at the top of my page (Right now there are ads for Dave Matthews stuff). In reality I was writing about NOT liking Dave. Hahah Stupid Tripod, you lose, I win. posted by Danielle on Saturday, August 28, 2004 Students are back at Pitt. Which means two things. 1. "Why are you working at fuel and fuddle again, I thought you had a 'real' job?" I realized that I was actually accomplishing a few of my life's goals (graduating college, getting a good job working for a great photographer) which was cool for a minute. But then I didnt have enough time to drink as much as I wanted. My alcoholism takes first seat to some stupid little life's ambition. 2. We are making a ton of cash at work. Which has a direct effect on me working harder....NOT COOL. posted by Danielle on Saturday, August 28, 2004
2004/07/27TOP 7NOT paying bills Super Search Jukebox Full House on Nick at Nite Larry David Pudding Pops are back Live versions of my favorite songs Extreme Toothpaste posted by Danielle on Tuesday, July 27, 2004
2004/07/26After a long day at work (err 6 hours of hanging out and ocassionally taking food orders), I sat a the bar for a drink and some food, went to a movie, returned to the bar and played megatouch for an hour. A friend of mine asked "Is your life a cirlcle of working , drinking, playing megatouch and chasing boys?" I said no, and If by no I meant yes then I wasn't lying.posted by Danielle on Monday, July 26, 2004
2004/06/28Last night I saw Dave Matthew's Band. Im not a fan of the group, I went because a friend wanted me to. The parking lot was a good time. The car next to us was playing a live Dave CD for most of the time we were drinking. Then all of sudden I hear the beginning to a song that I love. For a split second I thought that I might LOVE Dave Matthews because of how much I love the song that was coming out of the stereo. Then I realized it was Pearl Jam.posted by Danielle on Monday, June 28, 2004
2004/06/23My father gives good advice. From him I have learned that while in an airport getting ready to leave for vacation never yell, "But you have 1,000 dollars dad, why wont you buy me Mad Libs?!" I learned that if a your pet turtle dies, not to put it in a popcorn box on the back porch and forget to bury it, because your Dad might actually think that someone left a box of popcorn outside and put it back in the pantry a day before the family leaves for a weeklong vacation. If your daughter's beloved pet rabbits are killed by a neighborhood dog, I learned not to feel so sorry het that I get talked into replacing them with a pet pig.Recently my father told me that it wouldnt be a good idea to quit my job until I had another job lined up. He told me this after I quit my job without having another job lined up. Thank God for mutual funds. posted by Danielle on Wednesday, June 23, 2004
2004/05/18Early in the day I think of super fun things to write about here. Then I work 10+ more hours and by the time I get home to my computer I am pissed off. I could write about being pissed off but I am usually too tired. I could write about being tired but that is usually boring.I am quiting my job and going back to school so I have more time to write here. You should feel extremely fucking special about that. Especially because I am lying to you. I am quiting because I am smarter than everyone here, I am also cooler and I sing better kareoke. Fuck YOU posted by Danielle on Tuesday, May 18, 2004
2004/04/29I am so hungry. For tuna fish. I have been thinging about it for 3 days. My mom knows how much I love it and bought me 8 ccans 4 days agi. For the last 3 days I have been carrying a can of tuna around with me, because I want to eat it. I just cannot find a can opener. FUCK.posted by Danielle on Thursday, April 29, 2004 Dude, DUDE, because of my 60+ hour a week job, I will probably only do drunken updates to this page. Which will always be more entertaining to you and more embarassing to me. ( I am also writing this with one eye closed so taht I can read it.). I embarassed myself tonight infornt of the htotest CMU soccerplayera art majorI have ever seend (soccer player +art major= my type, hot= BONUS). I feel like death. Actually I asked for an advil but I only want it if the indications written on the side of the box indiate death. Like take 2 for a headache, 3 for stomache cramps, and take 4 pills to prevent death. I also want a "Life's Coach." I forget where I heard about them. Maybe som eOprah recap. But they apparently coach you on life. Like if you want to loose wa=eight they call you and tell you not to eat things. And if you want to get out of debt they cvall you and tell you not to spend money on things. i want a life's coach to train me to be a lifes coach. Seriously. I am extremel serious avout this...for real. Eff you. posted by Danielle on Thursday, April 29, 2004
2004/04/06Sorry. I have a real job now (defined as a job relating to the degree that I spent 40k+ obtaining). I am a commercial photograph, "commercial" defined as "nothing you would probably want to frame and hang on your wall," which isnt entirely an accurate definition. My boss takes a lot of shots that do not fall into that category...but I dont. Here is a link to some of my art. GiantEagleIf you do want something framed, email me and i am sure we can work something out. posted by Danielle on Tuesday, April 06, 2004
2004/03/09I really wanted this Moose Head until I saw this Entire Moose.posted by Danielle on Tuesday, March 09, 2004
2004/01/23My mom bought this teddy bear that talks. It tries to offer good advice, be friendly and supportive, and it also likes to sing about giving good advice and being friendly and supportive. He pretends to care about what you are saying and he pretends to "understand your position completely." It is all a front. This asshole bear makes you let your guard down by talking in a soothing voice and understanding, but then he pulls out the "do you have a secret" card. Fucking Dick! All he wants is gossip, then if you tell him anything good he will blackmail you with it until you "touch his heart." He actually says that! Teddy bears don't have hearts, they have big hairy bear dicks. Fucking Perv.posted by Danielle on Friday, January 23, 2004
2004/01/21ME: I'm sort of obsessed with spies.ANNONYMOUS INTERNET FRIEND: Why is that? ME: I don't know exactly. I think its one of those things that I know I would be really good at but never really knew how to get into. How do you go about becoming a spy? ANNONYMOUS INTERNET FRIEND: What makes you think you would be good at it? ME: I'm not sure exactly I think I would just like it a lot. I like to look up information on people I don't really know. I like the idea of watching people when they don't know I am watching them. I like secret codes and disguises and I like and being sneaky. Oh, and I also like the idea of being famous. ANNONYMOUS INTERNET FRIEND: That doesn't make sense, if you were famous it would blow you "secret" spy cover. ME: Hmmm.... ANNONYMOUS INTERNET FRIEND: I think you just want to put hidden cameras in dressing rooms and gym lockers and have your own webpage. ME: I've thought about that too. posted by Danielle on Wednesday, January 21, 2004
2004/01/19The monroeville fire department has a very special web page to help keep everyone informed. It is very popular and has a guestbook and everything. Our house made the front page of the action shots link. ROCK!! Over a year and we are still on top. The Bouchette's know how to roll... posted by Danielle on Monday, January 19, 2004 Guess what? I am spying on you. Well, if you live in allegheny county and either you or your parents own property within that county, I am spying on you. I don't particularly care what your house looks like, I just like pretending to snoop. It really isnt snooping, it's public record which means I am entitled to know what your house looks like, how much it cost when you bought it, when you bought it, and if you are current with your taxes. THen I am equally entitled to go on mapquest and find out how far we live from each other and the quickest route to get there, just in case I ever need to stop by. Thank you allegheny county assessment site. posted by Danielle on Monday, January 19, 2004
2004/01/03In a perfect world tacos would be eaten and ordered by the dozen, like chicken wings.posted by Danielle on Saturday, January 03, 2004
2004/01/01 Sup Sluts, Sup Hoes. I'm cowboy. I am wicked hardcore. Not like you think. I'm not an asshole communist. I beleive in all sorts of different things, like lunch breaks. I think that if you work 8 hours you deserve atleast a half hour lunch break. I have many other radical ideas, about many topics. Like wireless mice. My idea about wireess mice is that they rule and everyone should get one. I think that connect four is just advanced tic tac toe with awesome advertising. I think that I am a better looking cat than baxter is dog. I think rubber mice are real. posted by Danielle on Thursday, January 01, 2004
2003/12/27There are a rare few of you who get to read some rare posts that I make in the middle of the night while intoxicated. I usually erase the posts when i wake up. I really have nothging to say except maybe an exert from an earlier conversation: Weird dude hitting on me: you have very nice dimples. Me trying to sound funny yet not interested: you should see my ass. HahahahSee it worked. But at the same time if the dude didnt understand my snese of humor he could have given himself an extremely bad visual. whatever. I am eating left over ham from xmas eve. I have eaten it all dy everyday since xmas eve and have yet to want anything else. Ham is delisiouc an nutricious and possibly one of my most favorite things. baxter also likes ham, but cowboy doesnt. I think i t is a good thing that I dont have a band that depends on me to write interesting song lyrics because all i can think about to write is pork products most of the time. Pork, Pork for all you do ham Bbq I love you Pull, roast, grill or bake I'd rather eat you than a plateful of cake A bbq cake might not be too bad with a spicy filling and tangy outside I love you BBQ, let it be known You have a place in my heart where you sit on a throne. posted by Danielle on Saturday, December 27, 2003
2003/12/21EFF EFF EFF EFF EFF. Fans are great when you are starting out, they help boost your self esteem and confidence and make you famous. Then they start expecting things from you. Like links that work. Fuck that. Actually I am working on it. Some of my recent archive links are not working and i dont know why. I changed my # of posts on the main page to A LOT. So that is a quick fix.I am also apologizing because you came here and were expecting a lot of hilarity and I had to waste a post on archives again. posted by Danielle on Sunday, December 21, 2003
2003/12/20FUCK. Here I am. A little drunk. Eating cheese fries. Drinking Tang. Trying to come up with something entertaining for the Fan(s). I don't know what people want from me. {Exert form a conversation earlier today on AIM: I liked your page a lot better when the cat updated it.} Obvviously I haven't talked with this person in awhile. THE CAT IS DEAD. At first Pidge planned on still updating from beyond, but he got busy and soon forgot. We replaced Pidge with Cowboy, like you are supposed to do when animals die. But we were lazy in raising him and never taught him to type. I will work on this over XMAS and soon Cowboy will post to the site. Until then, FUCK YOU. And read pidge's posts in the early archives.posted by Danielle on Saturday, December 20, 2003
2003/12/14I am the funniest person you have ever/will ever meet. Don't beleive me? Go through my archives that I finally got working ARCHIVES. I hope you understand that this is a sneaky advertising technique and that everyone knows Ashton Kutcher is the funniest person ever. I hope you also understand that this post was paid by the "people for fooling people into thinking ashton kutcher is funny and tallented foundation."posted by Danielle on Sunday, December 14, 2003
2003/12/12I came home from work tonight and my mom left me this message typed in wordpad on the computer screen:Danielle, This is some chinese food I got for you at Giant Eagle. and i wrote back: Actually mom this is a computer. But thanks posted by Danielle on Friday, December 12, 2003
2003/12/08When I grow up and become a secret spy and they make a movie about me, The video game or book made based on the movie will have the following artwork on the cover. I think this best represents my secret spy style. If my sister brittany was my secret spy accomplice, her way less interesting/boring book or video game will have this artwork:  posted by Danielle on Monday, December 08, 2003
2003/12/07By request...For the last 2 weeks I have been staying at my mom's apartment again, mainly because she has heat and food. My roomate went home to visit her family over the holiday and also hasn't been in the apartment for roughy 2 weeks. Sometimes before I take a shower I have the natural urge to use the toilet, not wanting to eff with the water temperature in the shower, I usually wait until after to flush. On a rare occasion after getting out of the shower and toweling off I migh forget to flush. Aparrently I did this before I came home for the holidays and 2 weeks later when my roomate returns she falls victim to my forgetfullness. That same day we are out of toilet paper. As a substitute I use paper towels, tissue paper, maybe a magazine page as a last resort. I DO NOT use a sock. Yes, ok, there was a sock in the shower and that might make sense to someone who walks into an apartment where a shit was floating in the toilet for 2 weeks, but again I DID NOT use a sock. posted by Danielle on Sunday, December 07, 2003
2003/11/30I think I have adult ADD. I took a test at adultADD.com. You should take it because it often helps to blame your problems on some generic disease that you may have.posted by Danielle on Sunday, November 30, 2003 Squatting. I am a squatter. My definition of a squatter is this. One who lives or sleeps in an apartment at which they do not pay rent. My roomate is very nice. She enjoys my company so much and knows that I cannot afford rent right now so she lets me stay..err squat at her place. stop. She enjoys my company but she is never home, she "stays" at her boyfriends house 7 days a week and i never see her. What makes her a "stayer" and not a "squatter?" The rest of the definition goes on to say that to be a squatte the place you are staying rent free must not have heat or cable or a computer with internet access or a phone. I feel bad because I know that she eventually expects me to pay rent, when "I can afford it." I feel bad because I go out everynight and spend all of my money. But I think that if I am going to live like a squatter I need to start acting like one also. That means being shady, irresponsible and spending all of my money on alcohol. If you feel like helping me move up from squatter to stayer email me. posted by Danielle on Sunday, November 30, 2003
2003/11/08Everyone loves a situation...now we are goin to play a super mega awesome game.... Two of the following three situtations are real, one is not. You decide. (1) Danielle attempted to file her taxes properly (2) Danielle got 2 parkng tickets and Paid them before port authority sent late notices to her father's house. (3) Danielle had to take her cell phone to the doctor for allergy shots. Apparently it is allergic to the smell of alcohol. Because of the allergic reaction it dials phone numbers of people who should not be receiving phone calls and then encrypts everything spoken into it's receiver. It's a very rare disorder that is now under complete control through weekly shots. posted by Danielle on Saturday, November 08, 2003
2003/10/22I like to talk. I actually like to force any kind of noise out of my mouth whether it be sentences, words, or animal noises. Phone companies like me.I like new gadgets. I like to sent text messages to anyone whose phone will accept them. I like to write nonsense messages and make people think I am weird. Cell phone companies think I'm cool. I like taking pictures. I like taking pictures when I am out, but I don't like bringing my camera with me. I like to send these pictures to my friends the second I take them in hopes that they respond with an even wackier one. Cell phone companies love to take advantage of me. They rape me, enable me to humiliate myself with drunken calls, messages AND photos, and politley send me a $200 bill at the end of the month. posted by Danielle on Wednesday, October 22, 2003
2003/10/10Everyone loves a situation...I love John Mayer.There are you happy know? I admitted it. After a year of making every attempt to dismiss his hip cheesy life/love songs I have surrendered. I love everything about him. His ultra dorky style, lame lyrics, his quivering upper lip, his dmb esque guitar technique.... LOVE IT. I do not own any of Johnny boys cds, but you do. You can burn them form me and we can have listening parties and only serve food that is hinted at in his songs, we can play john mayer trivia games and write him letters about how much he inspires us to be better people, we can find every magazine article ever written about him and compile a scrap book and then we can start the uberfan site. posted by Danielle on Friday, October 10, 2003
2003/10/08Who is to say that any decision I have made in my life up until this point has been right or wrong or good or bad? I am sure that I have made some pretty shitty decisions (pet pigs, starting a fire in my garbage can when i was 9, that one time i lied). But how do I know if any good decision that I feel I have made actually has given me the best consequenses? I base my decisions on what I feel is correct at the time. But later can find out things weren't how I perceived them. There is no absolute way of knowing that I have made a good decision about anything ever.If I decide to eat at wendy's for lunch some reasons might be: I am low on cash, I am in a hurry. From there I decide I want a salad because although I am at wendy's I am not in the mood for a hamburger. I did not know that the kid making the salad was sick and I get pink eye because he didn't wash his hands. I also didnt know that the serial rapist was lurking outside of the joint at the exact time I was headig to my car. Did I make a wrong decision? I am doing an experiment. Starting tomorrow I am basing every decision I make on the fact that I am a leo. posted by Danielle on Wednesday, October 08, 2003
2003/10/03....posted by Danielle on Friday, October 03, 2003
2003/09/30Past experiences have produced the following equation:Boredom + Danielle - Creativity = Disaster Right now, I have no job which has a direct effect on me also having no money. I do have friends. All of my friends have jobs. I am bored and in the past this has resulted in extreme haircuts with bright red stripes, painted bedroom walls and furniture, dressing my dog up in sweaters and sunglasses and tramatizing him with a camera, and a new pet pig. The only thing keeping me sane is the weather. I heart fall. It inspires me to do great things. This is where YOU come in... Hire me to be your personal FALL enthusiast. I am available to come with you and help you plan your halloween costume (or party or costume party), pick pumpkins, ride mt bikes, go to ski sales, play tennis in our sweatpants, make pumpkin soup and eat it out of a hollowed pumpkin, search for the ultimate awesome scarf/mitten combination, make our own apple cider, plant tulip bulbs for springtime, learn lacross, make mountain pies, go to a pumpkin patch and make fun of how gords look like parts of the anatomy, I have othe ideas also. email me bouchettephoto@planet-save.com posted by Danielle on Tuesday, September 30, 2003
2003/09/27I am addicted to reading your away messages.I don't really care who you are, I don't remember why your name is on my buddylist and I couldn't pick your face out in a crowd, but I can tell you where you are when you are signed on to the computer but "not around." Your away messages are extremely self involved (like online journals) , but that isn't the best part. The best part is your actual profile. It's filled with inspiring quotes from your favorite band (dashboard confessional), holla's to your friends (sup Keefla), and when I am lucky, a link to your other profile which is actually a web page that I can take a quiz on and compare my score to yours and anyone else addicted to your away message. Keep up the good work super anonymous friend, I will keep coming back for more. posted by Danielle on Saturday, September 27, 2003
2003/09/25Dear NYC,I am sorry. I tried to make things work between us, but I felt that neither of us put forth the effort needed to make this kind of relationship work. I wanted all of your attention and you couldn't possibly give that to me. I imagined that you would give me everything I ever wanted; a cool apartment, nights out on the town, fame and fortune. Instead I got to eat fried rice daily and couldn't afford a new pair of shoes when mine fell apart from walking everywhere. I guess I was wrong. I should have never tried to change you. When we met I knew that I was going to be 1 in a pool of millions, i thought I could handle that, but it was too much. I shut down, stopped trying to make things work, blamed you for everything. New York City, you are a great town, don't let anyone tell you anything differently, but I am going back to Pittsburgh. Don't be jealous, it's a good town, I bet if you got to know each other you would become friends. I will keep in touch and maybe visit on occasion, who knows, in the future under different circumstances things could be great between us. Love, Danielle posted by Danielle on Thursday, September 25, 2003
2003/09/02EVERYONE RELAX!!! I found my cell phone. I have yet to find a job that pays me anything beyond a free lunch, but finding the cell phone is a key step in that process. Call me and ask me how new york is going...seriously (preferably after 9 or on weekends)/ If you have connections with rich and/or famous people in NYC searching for an assistant then call me sooner. If I sdon't knwo you and you want to call me email me boucehttephoto@planet-save.com. I am bored.posted by Danielle on Tuesday, September 02, 2003 Dani Boo (Hoo) I am moving to NYC in less than 9 hours. I have everything packed and ready to go and I am so excited to leave (eric stop reading here). That was a lie, not all of it just the part about the packing. I have been trying very hard to put everything I own into a box and pack it away, but there is just so much interesting shit to rummage through. Like this photo that josh took of me for Big Brother that I never went to my interview for. I found it and decided to scan it and send him a copy because he never go to see what an awesome out of focus job he did. I also came across 4 different brands of bikini wax under my sink, you know what the means?? I need to test them all and figure out which works best. (cut to 3 hours later) My cat is so cute, I need to spend some quality time with him on the couch (cut to 45 min later). Let me get my resume's ready on a disc to send to restaurants and photographers. (1 hour later) Shit I still need to send in my taxes and pay parking tickets and fill out insurance forms and my social secutrity form. I need to straighted things out with my bank and deposit 4 old paychecks, I need to buy shampoo and deodorant, I need to get my video games from my sister and my tennis raquets from some dude at work. Oh cool I found a wind up Mario toy from Taco bell....  posted by Danielle on Tuesday, September 02, 2003
2003/08/21YOu are an asshole. Calling me at 630 in the morning mumbling something about gameboy and hanging up makes you an asshole. You also must know that I love gameboy and I love sleep, you think you know me? Everyone knows that, you could be anyone. I think you suck but more importantly Cowboy thinks you suck. 412-657-4394 is my new arch nemesis.posted by Danielle on Thursday, August 21, 2003 The Archives have made a brilliant return. I made a large obnoxious button so that everyone will be sure to see them. I was going to add a comments section to this site but then realized that you are funnier than I am and that you would make comments and people would stop coming to my page to read about me and jump straight to your super hilarious commentary about my posts. In the long run I might gain more visitors but I am not willing to have any of my stalkers jump ship. I dislike many things about blogs and online journals. The whole "I think my thoughts and ideas are so important that I am going to put them up where everyone (err 3 people) can read them and be changed by them" community is an ultra extreme testimonial to the meaning of the word lame. This is the anti blog because I have no real thoughts or ideas, and I am mainly entertaining myself by giving myself an excuse to take photos of my cat with my phone. INSERT CUTE KITTEN IMAGE HERE posted by Danielle on Thursday, August 21, 2003
2003/08/19I am working on bringing back my archives because i think i might have some new fans that want to stalk me and if I put the archives back up they can gt a lot of cool information about me and have a better idea of what kind of secret stalker gifts to send me. For now go here and remember how I was the great genius who created the restaurant and how NBC ripped me off. March 3, 2002posted by Danielle on Tuesday, August 19, 2003
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